Hi lovely pals –
I hope that you had a fabulous weekend. I absolutely did. I have discovered Fire Island and all I can say is wowza. I was able to rest, relax, recuperate and truly found some peace about this whole wedding debacle.
First I want to thank the wonderful ladies who reached out and offered to help me. Nic, Whit, LD I will be contacting you soon and taking you up on your offers. Galdo – you are a brilliant light in dark times – Thank you for being such a sweet and wonderful friend, I owe you a bum cuddle, or two. Bunzo – I have no idea what I would do without you and Brookie thank you for your unwavering support!
While I was away I realized that none of this really matters and that Alex and I could court-house it up and then take a fraction of the dough we’d spend on this party and have a fab vacation. Alex called my second choice in Nado while I was away and they told him that they were booked for the entirety of 2011, so that’s out.
I do not want to spend an epic amount of money. Its irresponsible and I’d rather travel then have a room look like a rose-bush vomited all over the place. I am probably coming across as wishy-washy, or bipolar as one of Alex’s friends referred to me, but I am really so confused about how to make this work for me. I am not unsure as to whether or not I want to marry Alex, He is an incredible man whom I do not deserve but intend to love with all of my heart until one of us leaves this earth. My issue is that I do not know how to fit my edges, corners, cubes and curlicues into this little box that a traditional wedding come packed in. I would love to Jackson Pollock a white room, white linened and set table and a wedding dress and display it at the Moma entitled F*CK the Institution. Thats where I am at.
As I have said many times before, we will figure it out, but my new stance is I am going to sit and wait for it to fall in my lap. I am going to have faith that perfection will be gifted to me from up above in some way and for now I will worry about the details I can control. afford (which is precious little) and move along at a lingering pace, and if come next summer there is no wedding, so be it, I don’t plan on going anywhere, I’ll have it in 2012.
Martha Stewart Weddings – Anything you could possibly need to know about the perfect cookie cutter celebration. I think I’ll turn and run the other way. 🙂
Thank you for reading, I appreciate your support!