I never make lists – Alex does, he is a list-o-maniac. He likes to scrawl things in the allotted daily space of his desktop calendar. I have stacks and mentally keep track of the things I need to do. Sometimes I have brilliant flashes where I am über-organized, but I need space to spread out otherwise my life turns into stacks. I like stacks. But being a writer and trying to keep up with all of my stacks especially now that I do not have a computer and all of my work is scattered far and wide (work computer, little hard drive, paper stacks… etc.) I am feeling very loopy and weirdly not concretely connected to anything. I am trying to tether it all down and thought perhaps I’d make a list of all the wedding stuff I want to get out of my head so I can blog after raising some questions and answering others.
1. Your wedding should reflect who you are and who you’re marrying
2. Trying to please everyone is pointless
3. There will be some bad pictures
4. It’s most important to be yourself
5. It’s most important to please yourself
6. Its most important to love your partner
a. Three most important may take away from the importance of being most important but that is a risk I am willing to take as all three of these are tied.
7. This is only one day in the rest of your life – merely a stop in a long journey.
8. Weddings have become an all-consuming marketing monster.
9. Normal people should never spend 10’s of thousands on anything, especially not a party, especially when times are so rough, especially when most couples don’t own their own homes.
10. Good shoes don’t just look great; you can wear them the whole night too.
11. Bridesmaids should feel gorgeous.
12. Lists place too much pressure on a disorganized person – I am taking a break.
As Alex and I close in on finding a wedding venue and date, we keep changing our vision of what will work best for us. Above all we want things to be perfect, but not in the millions of flowers everywhere way, not in an extravagant opulent sort of way either. We want to have fun. We want to eat, drink and be merry to those who are closest to us. As our life ebbs and flows, as it weaves in and out of the intricacies of existence we find ourselves closer to some than we’d like to be and further from others whom we miss dreadfully. Guest lists are confusing. There are those we feel obligated to invite, and of course I play devil’s advocate to his choices. I tell him no, we will absolutely not invite people you have not hung out with in nearly a year, who never call you, who don’t know anything about you life. Meanwhile I fight to include aunts and uncles on a my list that my father assures me will not come, or friends from high school that I have not connected with in years, have horribly awkward strained conversations with on visits home and getting them to hang out or make time for me is like pulling teeth… but I digress. One of my writing teachers once said figure out what you are trying to say, know the story you are trying to tell.
I feel that this applies here. What is your love story? What is the tale you are trying to weave with your celebration? Is it trying to convince the world that you can afford everything, that you can invite the world and that you may in fact be one step away from rock celebrity, that you may have missed out on throwing the sweet 16 worthy of being filmed by MTV and that you are making up for lost time or stardom? Then by all means break the bank and get your fancy groove on. If you can afford it, go for it. I refuse to feel bad or embarrassed that my wedding will not be lavish, nor will it be much like anything that I have attended before. I have a wonderful man who saved me from myself and is now working alongside me to help me find my way towards realizing all of my dreams. Ok – back to the list.
13. Drinking seasonal Starbucks creations add girth.
14. Dress shopping can be a nightmare.
15. Whitening your teeth is a good idea. Unless you do it too much and then your teeth hurt, the enamel thins and you are more susceptible to cavities.
16. When in doubt get a bigger size – you can always take things in, letting them out is not quite so easy.
17. Think small and if big happens, enjoy it.
18. You are blessed to be alive.
19. I am blessed to have found love.
20. Family is a blessing, though it often translates into migraines.
21. No matter how dire your circumstances there is someone wishing they could be in your shoes.
22. Flossing regularly is good hygiene.
23. Weight loss regimens work best when you cut down on your stress levels.
24. Eat organic – steroids and preservatives just can’t be good for you.
25. Be kind to those around you, you never know when you’ll need them to reach something high.
26. Write your ideas down – you will not remember them, I promise.
27. Be prepared to fail a few times, but nothing worth having is easy to get.
28. Take risks – dare to have your dream wedding on your terms.
29. Aunt Edna may spill red wine on your dress, your shoes may get scuffed, your DJ may not show up, your mom might get drunk, your brother might offend your MOH, your fiancé may smear cake on your face and ruin your makeup… but fear not young bride, all of these things have a common solution. IGNORE and have a great night. If immediate action is required: club soda, spit shine, Plug in your iPod or iPhone, caffeinate mama, tell MOH to deal with it, & reapply face. Life will not get in the way, it will enhance.
That is enough listy for now. I hope you are all staying warm and cozy. I wish you the very best holiday season ever no matter whom you hold high.
Thank you for reading!
PS – for all of you that need to find last-minute dress ideas or frocks for holiday galas – click here!