How it’s gotta be…


Dear Mom & Dad,

So here’s the deal.

I know that you really are excited about Alex and I getting married.

We are so very excited too.

As you know, we have been trying really hard to make this wedding happen in a way that keeps everyone happy as we have a ton of really strong personalities swirling around our event, not to mention the headache and drama of family and friends living thousands of miles away. This is hard and to be honest… Shi* is bad.

Our wedding venue fell through last night as we were asked for 30K for food alone. Now, perhaps to some that’s the price of having a wedding and you know what, if it is, good for you. I cannot imagine spending that much on food for 100 people. That does not work for me. In a world where thousands starve and my contemporaries are camped out in a park speaking out against a corporate structure that robs the poor, spending that astronomical sum of money on a few canapés and a leg of lamb just does not add up.

So here we are 530 days from the moment Alex proposed and we have accomplished nothing. Alex refuses to elope despite my compelling arguments and  tearful pleading. We are finally beginning to feel the firm ground of stability as we slowly shave away the debt we compiled in our nearly two years of unemployment. I have got school debt and he and I are still paying off my surgery.

So parentals here comes the money shot – you have both got to sell your homes and all of your belongings so that our guests can get drunk and fat at our expense. Dad – I need to you provide entertainment and Mom – it’s up to you to make all of the favors and centerpieces with your crafting brilliance. But we’ll need 30K for the food. Just the food. Only the food is covered with the 30K, just to be clear. That sounds about right, totally rational and completely doable.

We’ll be waiting patiently for the wire transfers to hit our accounts so we can piss away your hard-earned money on chow.

Have a great weekend!

Love you.

Please send cash.

Jenni G.

My Dear Alex


Clouds lift
Swept away by the tingle of your fingers
Open eyes open mind open heart open-mouthed
I come to you
Please find in me the thing
The thing that you are looking for
The thing that makes you whole as you
Have made me

Why do you come
Why do you come back
Why does your road lead to me

Night after night
I hope to long to love to
Find you
Find you sleeping
Find you by my side

You are all
All of it
Everything
Each bulleted point I desire
So much
So much more

Thankful
Content
Alive
You made me

Voices from the past….


Hi All –

Just found a poem I wrote when Alex and I started dating. We were in the dark space of exciting, scared unknowns. Alex was 24 and I was 29 when we met. At the time the age difference seemed insurmountable. He was not ready for anything serious and I wished for him to magically become a decade older. We both got laid off: so  lost and wandering. We embraced each other. This spring we will commit to wandering together for the long haul. I found this little ditty this morning in an old notebook and dissolved in tears, remembering the scared girl I was, afraid to love again and terrified of facing heartbreak as this fling could certainly not end well. How mistaken I was.

Untitled
Dark to Light
Growing yet dim
Can I bring hope to life?
Is it him?
 
Breath it catches
Back of throat
Is it possible?
All she wrote?
 
Days to nights
They turn
He stays
This one, it seems
Just won’t go away
 
Renewing faith
In possibility
Has someone finally found
Something worthy in me?
 
Cross my heart and hope to die
Stick a needle in my eye
Fairy tale ending for this old girl
Is it my turn to give “ever after” a whirl?
 
Dare I hope?
Dare I dream?
Please stay quiet
Don’t wake, don’t scream
 
Hold me close
Never let me go
I’ve waited longer
Than you know
 
Every waking moment
Cart-wheel through my mind
Peace approaching
Thankful for life
 
Anything you want love
All is yours
From earth to sky
From sea to shore
 
Please kiss my lips
Hold me tight
My strength
My friend
My heaven
My knight

Survive the last of the wedding crash!


You’ve had it!

You are cash poor, credit strapped and you hate every dress in your closet.

You’ve worn the heels off all of your favorite shoes and the thought of re-wearing anything again makes you very sad.

None of you girlfriends is the same size or has any taste and you just want something new and pretty to wear to your high school girlfriend’s late summer or fabulous coworker’s fall wedding…

Perhaps you are a bride and you have blown your wad on the fabulous party you are about to throw. Though you are in love with your gown (found at Lovely or the Bridal Garden, or BHLDN ~LOVE ALL!); you just want a little white number to sport in case you need a backup at the reception (red wine!), something for the day after brunch or (ACK!) You forgot to buy something for the rehearsal dinner!

Who’s with me on this one?

Whatever the case – There are some great, current, non-clearance items that you can buy for under $100 that will have you spic and sparkling in no time. Nothing is sample sale today, all are up on various websites and available for you to purchase immediately.

LATE SUMMER WEDDING – You can wear whatever color you want basically, except try to stay away from the boring blacks or grays. Most of us have a tan by now, and for those of us that will be bundled up soon it is a great last hurrah to sport some awesome colors and stand out in pictures!

FALL WEDDING – Jewel Tones, Jewel Tones, Jewel Tones! Don’t go for the black dress, unless you have some awesome flashy heels… more on that next week. Give yourself a brush up of self-tanner slap on the bronzer and keep the colors bright.

LAST MINUTE BRIDAL STEALS– Do the LWD – Here are some super cute options for the brides-to-be. The weekend of the wedding, keep in the spirit of things with lovely little white numbers.

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Quickie Post – Approved Impulse Buy!!!


Love & Toast Happiness Kit

Looking for a pick me up for under $20 or a great addition to your bridesmaids git bags?

Try the Happiness kit from Love & Toast.

I just received mine and all of the cute little bottles smell great – for the price the range of stuff is great.

Also comes with a great little carry bag perfect for a gym bag or weekend trip carry on!!!

You’re welcome!

xo – Jenni G.

 

Forfeit Part 2 – The end… (actually the beginning part 2)


There were concerns yes – Alex had grown very controlling and domineering as his role had blossomed into head of the household/ breadwinner/ handyman/ cleaning service… yada yada, you name it, he did it… all. I was merely working full-time and going to school in the evenings yet I behaved as though he owed me all of those things. I resented him for his attempts to keep my chaotic meanderings somewhat ordered and focused. I did not appreciate him and his efforts and he felt the need to corral me and reign me in.

Alex came by to talk things out and for the first time in years, we came together as strangers. Sitting at two ends of a room we had worked to decorate together, the tension was palpable. He glared at me and shot accusations at me, while I tearfully asked him to come home repeatedly.

He feared it happening again as I had a past of kicking him out or threaten to leave. Our first year, I must have packed my bags 10 times. I am good at getting everything I own into a suitcase in record time. I ran away 5 times in a single summer during my late teens, first time I packed to leave home was at age 5, seriously, ask my mom. Oh and yes, I wore heels that first attempt at leaving.

Back to Alex, his main concern, fueled by his mother’s fear, was that I did not want children. In many cultures at 32 it’s time to get worried about not having kids. I do not want to be controlled by my uterus or by some societal expectation placed on my reproduction. Do I want kids right now? No. When I see pictures of my little “niece” Sophie, I swoon and consider procreation. However, at this point, right this second, I barely have the time and patience to babysit my nephew Jackson, and he is a Cocker/ Maltese. I work 55-60 hours a week at a job I really enjoy and have my final semester at school writing a 50 page thesis in addition to my class load. A baby, now… I think not.

In addition to the above, have you ever seen a woman with a stroller on a subway? Or a woman with a stroller in New York period. They look like mad beasts. Most of them are so frazzled they use the cart as a battering ram and god forbid the child is crying, everyone stares at the duo or trio or however many are in the gaggle as though they have the plague and are emitting fumes of their rancid diseased waste at high volumes. No thank you. If I have children, or when I have children, it will be in a place where I have room to breathe and push my stroller at a leisurely pace.  Not a place where 10 million assholes routinely stop to take pictures of a hole in the ground that once was the workplace of thousands and was reduced nearly a decade ago to rubble in an epic tragedy. A place that has the respect to let people heal and the patience to allow them to recover.

Short version, we’re getting married this spring.

In Brooklyn.

We’re very much in love.

We’re working out the specifics.

Happy weekend and wedding season to you all!

Thank you for reading.

~Jenni G.

 

Guest Post :)


“Yes, I’ll Marry You,” by Pam Ayres

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear,
And here’s the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking
And it’s creepy and it’s late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.

Yes I’ll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It’s you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It’s you that has to whack him.

Yes, I’ll marry you,
You’re virile and you’re lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!

It’s you who has to work the drill
and put up curtain track,
And when I’ve got PMS it’s you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

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